​I did warn you.  This was always going to be the week from hell but, as ever, it has been a learning curve – and thought-provoking to say the least.  Sometimes I feel as though I am starring in my very own drama.  How ridiculous!  I am.  That’s the point, though: it feels ridiculous as though my imagination has run away with me and I am actually part of some Danielle Steel mini series!  Don’t they all live happily ever after?  Maybe not.
‘No man is an Island, entire of it self … ‘  John Donne
I have said before that those words represent the only reason I would ever contemplate a tattoo!  They should be a mantra for life – everyone’s.  Reminded daily that one’s actions – great or small – impact on those around you, this week was testament to that.  Life isn’t just topsy-turvy, it can be very cruel and much of that is due to this modern day attitude of looking out for number one; when the going gets tough, ditch the weak ones!  No.  Stop and pick them up.  Treat other people as one would wish to be treated oneself.  Not difficult?  Well, it is if one’s moral compass is derived from parents who would never secure a licence to have children should such a thing exist.  In other words, what hope is there when the developed world has morphed into ‘Land of the Techno Zombies’ where greed and materialism reign supreme; where every other person represents competition, feelings count for nothing, children are no more than accessories and manners are as rare as bookcases, photo albums and fountain pens?  Unplugged.  Disconnected.  Lost.
This is cheery!  Anything but.  I was in the Court of Session on Wednesday but there was no sign of Judge Rinder.  Instead, after 5 years, I was faced with the person who, seemingly, has no concept of the words of John Donne.  Self-obsessed, his actions have cruelly impacted on those who cared about him and the resulting anger and contempt engendered in me have powered me on.  Naturally, I dreaded the day and was right to do so.  It was horrific but I was supported by an amazing friend – and my extortionate lawyer and advocate!  He was alone.  Game over.  The anger was gone replaced, instead, by sadness and an over-riding pity; pity that someone who had so much could, so carelessly, throw it all away – for nothing.
It made me question one’s emotions and the power of one to supersede another.  Of course, the narrow line between love and hate has long been acknowledged but surely anger is more powerful than pity?  Does one have to care – or have once cared – about someone to feel pity for him/her or is it just natural to feel sorry for someone in distress?  All I know is that my years of anger have dissipated.
‘You’ve already won.  You just have to go back and collect your trophy … ‘
These are the words of that amazing friend of mine, Emily.  Wise beyond her years.  The thing is, I never chose to be part of the battle but, in defending myself, I was armed with qualities which render one invincible: namely, self-worth and a clear conscience.  Money cannot buy those nor can it salvage respect or assuage guilt.  A learning curve?  My week from hell has re-affirmed, for me, my strength and, in doing so, confirmed my blessings …
Have I been listening to too many of Chris Evans’ ‘Pause for Thought’?  Do I have a calling?  Sitting here with my empty glass of wine, perhaps it’s just a case of having too much time to think?  Yet again, perhaps it’s watching too much Sex & The City resulting in a tendency to imitate Carrie’s ramblings as she attempts to interpret life in all its glory?  A combination of them all.
Enough of my life, there seems to have been a black cloud over the world, in general, of late.  People are struggling.  Suicide seems all around.  What has happened?  We have got it so wrong.   I refer to my second paragraph.  Technology, like the genie in the bottle, has been unleashed and we are powerless in its wake.  Like Frankenstein’s monster, man has willingly – and determinedly – created that which has the ability to destroy life as we know it; and it has.  Whilst one may applaud the technology which enables instant connection with those on the other side of the world, that same technology is responsible for a power cut on a massive scale!  The power to communicate in person. 
Everywhere, people are on their phones, oblivious to life and living.  Walking along a pavement is hazardous as heads are down and nobody is looking.  In any restaurant or bar, one will see friends, families, silent and engrossed, each in his/her own world.  A microcosm of homes throughout the land; homes fraught with the very real dangers of the internet and parents who render themselves powerless to police citing a lack of time when, more truthfully, it is a lack of care.  Video may have ‘killed the radio star’ but the microchip has, ironically, killed the power of speech!  Isolation exists where once there was family; facebook exists where once one had friends.  ‘Partners’ are met on dating sites and babies are more likely to be given an ipad than a rattle!  Have we lost the plot?  Unplugged.  Disconnected.  Lost.  Lonely.  It is an epidemic of our own creation and I fear the outcome.  Whilst I may sometimes feel like a player in my own drama, at the same time, I feel as though I am viewing the world from the outside looking in.  Scarily, nobody can hear me – or, perhaps, nobody wants to listen.
Never, ever lose one’s sense of humour, regardless!  Always have The Wisdom of Prince Philip to hand …
‘I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.’
Addressing a group of industrialists in 1961.
So much in common.
This is Trish, signing off.
p.s.  I haven’t checked this!