No matter, down to business. Before going any further, I must commit to ‘paper’ the fact that I was ID-d – how the hell do you write that?! – on Friday night. Yes, I jest not. Manny and I were at the cinema and, on purchasing the obligatory glass of wine, I was asked for my year of birth. Yes! Manny thought it was hysterical and told the woman she had made my year! There are, however, those among you who may still be questioning the fact that I was at the cinema …
Apologies, Becca. Please don’t take it personally. The fact is, attending ‘events’ which involve sitting next to, or in close proximity to strangers rarely runs smoothly for me and, therefore, going to the cinema is an infrequent occurrence. The usual scenario involves me telling Becca that we must go and see a certain film. She, then, offers me various dates on which to see said film, meanwhile turning down requests from friends who would like to go with her. Inevitably, time moves on and, when I finally agree to risk going to the cinema, said film is no longer showing and Becca has missed it completely! We did, actually, manage to catch the Sex & the City movie on the last day but that, too, was marred by a couple who appeared 10 minutes after the start of the film, in a virtually empty cinema, and chose to sit right in front of us and crawl all over each other. Why?!
There are two other occasions which particularly stand out, both involving Donny! The first was The Osmonds‘ 50th Anniversary concert at the SECC in Glasgow. Some years ago, now, it is still etched on my memory and those I have told either find it incredulous, hilarious or both.
In hindsight, the location of the venue was not a plus. I had seen Donny at the Clyde Auditorium before and had a taster of the Donny.com-ers but I couldn’t miss the 50th anniversary concert and the last time they would all perform together. Donny was a huge part of my teenage years and you know me and nostalgia. Anyway, suffice to say, the delightful women in the row behind us had to be removed by security for my safety! Completely plastered with their bottles of Irn Bru filled with vodka, they could barely stand let alone use the Queen’s English. Not a word passed my lips but, apparently, my turning round and giving them ‘a look’ was enough and they had no interest in ‘Love me for a Reason‘ after that!
The second occasion was a family outing to see Donny at the Castle. Safe enough, one would have thought, but … Poor Manny got the fright of his life as we were forced to queue amongst the Donny.com-ers in the Royal Mile prior to the concert. Throngs of ‘lovely’ middle-aged women most of whom were obese, completely plastered, foul-mouthed and waving cigarettes in the air as they strived to maintain their balance! We’d have felt safer going to see the Sex Pistols!
In the end, after much hilarity and guessing who would occupy the seat to my right, this strapping female appeared who knocked me for six when Donny appeared! Worse still, she had a webbed foot!!
As ever, I have gone off on a tangent but I do have to mention the occasion when my friend, Fiona, and I went to see Macbeth in Livingston – on a Saturday night! It was a performance of Macbeth, with Kenneth Branagh, which was being transmitted, live, throughout the UK and tickets in Edinburgh were sold out. Fiona, cleverly, worked out that there may be some spare seats in Livingston … So, off we went, inevitably getting lost before finding the cinema in the middle of a shopping centre.
So far, so good. The cinema was virtually empty and we chose our seats before opening our cans of G&T ready for the performance. Lights dimmed and then … a group of people appeared with, still, a choice of almost every seat in the cinema. The gentleman made his way, in the dark, up to us and proceeded to tell us that we were sitting in their seats! I think I nearly choked on my gin as Fiona told him that, if the cinema were to suddenly fill up, we would happily move. It was like something out of a Monty Python or Dave Allen skit. Still makes me laugh and such a good story to tell.
Rewind and I can reveal that the film Manny and I went to see was Eddie the Eagle. It was superb! Based on a true story, of course, there was no violence, swearing or special effects; instead, it was a heart-warming film about courage, determination and self-belief. The sort of film they used to make for the whole family … The adverts prior to it were promoting a number of upcoming, mediocre films about nothing of any significance and instantly forgettable! They are literally churned out at a cost of millions and with the sole aim of making even more. Ironic, then, that the best-selling film, to this day, is The Sound of Music. Have we learned nothing?!
Go and see Eddie the Eagle. In Manny’s words, ‘It is the best film I have seen at the cinema!‘ For my part, it restored my faith and then there was Hugh Jackman … perfect!
‘The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle; the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.‘
Well, that’s it, then. I’ll just keep on fighting!
This is Trish, signing off. As ever, nobody forced you to read it!